What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
An udder failure

Why was the gym wet?
Because the basketball players dribbled all over it

Which two days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday because the rest are weekdays.

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
Because she got an F in sex.

How does a boat show affection?
It hugs the shore.

When prices are going up, what remains stationary?
Writing paper and envelopes.

Why did the man put a clock under his desk?
He wanted to work overtime.