Things that make you go Hmmm....
Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

"Instructions For Life"
Be courteous to everyone.

Things that make you go Hmmm....
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but
I'm not sure you realize what you heard is not what I mean't!

"Instructions For Life"
Everyday show your family how much you love them with your
Words, with your touch and with your thoughtfulness.

Christmas Riddles
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D".

What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!

What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
Lost.

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa
Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the
doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one
picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!
From Shardool Patel, age 9, Vadodara, India
Which sport is a favorite of the Grass Hopper?

Cricket!
From Geoffrey, age 11, Australia
What did the bug say after he hit the windshield?
If I had the guts I'd do it again!

What grade would insects get in school?

Probably all Bees!

Why did the waiter stomp on his customer's hamburger?

Because the customer was in a hurry and told the waiter to step on it.