The victim of an awful automobile accident was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital, and the emergency nurse was ordered to prepare the body for the undertaker. Removing his clothes, she discovered that the young man had died with the most massive erection she had ever seen.
Unable to take her eyes off it, she finally yielded to temptation, took off her panties, straddled the stiff and proceeded to enjoy herself.  read more

John Smith
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This woman dies, and when she gets to heaven she asks Saint Peter, "Would it be possible for me to get together with my dear departed husband? He died many years ago." Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?"
"John Smith," replies the woman.  read more

A young boy is standing on a street corner swatting flies. Every time he sees a fly he utters, "damn flies, damn flies."

Just as the boy says it a shocked priest walks up and says, "You should not curse the flies because every one of God's creations has a purpose."

The little boy, unmoved by the priest's objection says, "bullshit."  read more

'Hello?'

'Hi honey. This is Daddy.

Is Mommy near the phone?'

'No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

After a brief pause,

Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'

Brief Pause.  read more

Abdul was having trouble with his computer. So Abdul called Jaffer, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I
Abdul called after him,
'So, what was wrong?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

Abdul didn't want to appear stupid,  read more

Walking the dogs

A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?"

The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex."

The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?"  read more

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer,

"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins(1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"  read more

I - Original:
'Pussy cat Pussy cat, where have you been?'
'I have been to London to see the Queen'
'Pussy cat Pussy cat what did you there?'
'I frightened a little mouse under the chair!'

Punjabi Translation:
'Mano Billi, Mano Billi, kithe gai si?'
'Rani Ji nu milan main vilayat gai si'
'Ki chan chareya tu othe ja ke?'
'Ghar wapis aa gai main chuhe kha ke!'

II - Original  read more

Who Am I ?
One Monday morning a guy was in the neighborhood on his usual route.

As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both cars are in the driveway, his wonder is cut short by Billy the homeowner coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

"Wow Billy, looks like you guys had a hell of a party last night," the man comments.  read more

The lady teacher asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.

The first pupil said: Tylenol?

Very good! And what is it used for?

It is used for headache.

The second pupil said: Nytol

Excellent. And what it is used for?

To help you sleep

Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: Viagra

Johnny. What is it used for?  read more